If I could re-do my wedding day...

People get married at varying times, for varying reasons with varying resources. For Jonny and I, we got married with very little money, and what we did have was going towards immigrating him from the states. We had maintained a year long long-distance relationship, having a total of one month (with all days combined) of actually being physically in each others presence. For us, the wedding day was more about the goal of making a life-long commitment to one another and finally being in each others arms without having to say “Good Bye” at the airport terminal.

When we got married, it was a very financially tight time, and my mom ended up footing the bill for a lot of things (Thank you, Momma). Looking back, the wedding I had was BEAUTIFUL, and we were incredibly blessed by some close friends contributing to our wedding day by providing a go-pro covered ceremony, and engagement, ceremony and couples photos. They are memories we will cherish forever! Unfortunately, because of the money we invested elsewhere, and the lack of communication I had with my photographer and mom (which we’ll discuss), there were many moments missed. While I am grateful, if I could go back, knowing what I know now, I would have done a few things very differently.

I would have held my ground.

I think this is the hardest thing to do for ANY Bride, because there are so many people we want to make happy. So much so, that we forget that our wedding day is OUR wedding day. It’s not meant to reflect anyone but the couple involved, and their values and vision. As an only daughter, there were things that happened at my wedding that admittedly happened for my Mom, God love her. I don’t fault her for it, as it was ultimately my final say. With footing the bill for so much, I didn’t want to put up a fuss. I was also so focussed on just getting married and being Jonny’s wife, I didn’t see the value of holding my ground for my wedding day vision. Something that truly reflected Jonny and I as a couple. I wanted to have an intimate, potluck wedding, with a dance under the stars and acoustic music around a camp fire. Because of the people coming in from out of town, I was told that a proper meal had to be provided. Well… 10K later, those who came, were fed. I didn’t even end up eating at my own wedding! #Adrenaline. We also were “warned” by numerous people to have our reception indoors, incase it was too hot or we got rained on. Now, looking back, I’m like, “Who the heck cares?! Bring sunscreen and an umbrella, then.” So we booked a reception hall. Again, 5k later… It was a gorgeous, summer day and would have made for an amazing reception outside as I had envisioned, but #PeoplePleasing. It was incredibly crowded inside with all the tables and people. The tables were decorated beautifully, but looking out, all I could really see were cramped crowds. On that note, I hated sitting at the head table. It was elevated, and all I wanted to do was mingle. Being on a property, with picnic blankets, camping chairs and laughter would have been much more our jam.

I would have had an elopement style wedding.

Jonny and I are very relational people. Community is incredibly important to us, which means, authentic connection. That became nearly impossible with the 250 people that attended our wedding. While we are glad so many were able to witness our life-long commitment, I only made real connection with about 20 of those people. Our ceremony was held out at a Family Friends Cabin, which would have hosted an intimate outdoor reception so beautifully. My heart hurts not knowing who actually came that day, and while we were celebrated, I wasn’t able to thank everyone for choosing to come and celebrate with us. I think having a group of 100 or less, would have been more than enough, and still potentially hard to have connected well with everyone. It would have been amazing to have had a photo booth and gotten individual group photos with everyone to look back on. Because of the smaller group, we could have also heard more speeches, or words of encouragement, about memories our close friends had of us. Individually and as a couple. Which leads me to my next point…

i would have invested in professional Photos & video.

While we are forever grateful for the photos and ceremony video, we were gifted, there are a lot of moments we will never get to relive. We have absolutely no footage of the reception and the speeches made by our bridal party. Nor do we have any photo’s of anything, other than our first dance, at the reception. The money that was spent on the hall and the catering, would have been a much longer-lasting investment if it had been put into a professional photographer and videographer. Food is for a day, and would have been accomplished just as efficiently through a potluck. Photo’s and video are an investment that you can enjoy for a lifetime. Jonny and I are planning on renewing our vows on our 10 year anniversary, up in the mountains under a waterfall, with our precious daughters, and we will not be making the same mistake this go around.

I would have done a first-look, before the ceremony.

I know this is becoming much more common for couples to do, but when we got married, it wasn’t a thing that was being done yet. The reason I would have done this is because it would taken the edge off, and been a much more intimate moment to be shared between just Jonny and I. When I walked out there for our ceremony, with all those beautiful people, I was so nervous/excited, that I don’t remember what Jonny’s reaction was to me coming down the aisle and seeing me as his Bride for the first time. We did end up exchanging our own personal vows at the ceremony, so personal letters wouldn’t have been necessary during the first look. However, being able to just enjoy a quiet moment together before the rush of the day, would have been magical.

I would have had a one year anniversary honeymoon instead.

I don’t know if we would have necessarily done this differently, based on our personal circumstance. However, its something we would highly recommend for others. Jonny’s brother was living in England at the time of our wedding, and had racked up enough airmiles from work travel, to be able to fly us down to stay at their place. It was a dream come true, as we spent a solid week touring Ireland, which was my last bucket list destination. We ended up getting pregnant 2 months after our wedding, as well as being ground locked while Jonny awaited his PR approval, once we got back from England. So in hindsight, there was no better time than the present to enjoy such a fantastic life experience. However, should the circumstances have been different, in our case, I feel like a local honeymoon would have been much more profitable for us as a couple. We had spent so much time apart, that all we wanted was to just enjoy each others company. We could have done that for much cheaper, and a lot less jet-leg, if we had traipsed around Jasper or Banff for a week instead. It would have been more meaningful as a 1 year anniversary trip, because by then, we would have gotten over the newly wed handsies (you know what I mean lol) and enjoyed the reality of being husband and wife more, because it would have been so established by then.

If you are a Bride or Groom, trying to figure out how to make the most of your wedding day, we hope these insights are helpful to you. Learn from our mistakes. We hope that your wedding reflects who you are as a couple, in every detail of the day.

Remember- this is YOUR day, and no one else’s.